


4 O'Clock

by Suharu



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Drabble, Emotional, Eventual Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, M/M, Post Code 28, Spooning, dark place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27152362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suharu/pseuds/Suharu
Summary: The self-doubt creeped from the depth of him, climbing up to sit on his chest, making it harder to breathe. Feeling suffocated, the drummer turned to face the wall in a desperate attempt to drown the voices. He took a deep breath, thinking why was he awake to begin with, remembering the dream he just had...
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	4 O'Clock

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [berrynthewood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrynthewood) for the input, and for quite literally saving this piece from rotting among all my wips forever :3

At the darkest hour, Akihiko found himself spiraling from side to side, softly moaning in his disturbed sleep until his eyes opened wide in a sudden burst of a paralyzing horror. Unable to move an inch, he laid wide awake staring at the ceiling, breathing heavily. A slight gust of wind played with the strands of his short blond hair, making him shudder as he became aware of the cold sweat covering his whole body. Once his consciousness made sure he was all alone in the darkness, the mind quietly skyrocketed, whispering dreadful things at him.

_Not needed. Never truly loved._

The self-doubt creeped from the depth of him, climbing up to sit on his chest, making it harder to breathe. Feeling suffocated, the drummer turned to face the wall in a desperate attempt to drown the voices. He took a deep breath, thinking why was he awake to begin with, remembering the dream he arose from. Everything, from the sounds and smell of the pouring rain and to the feeling of the smothering sheets of a much too wide bed felt so real still, once again he was in the damp room that didn't let much sunshine in.

_The only reality you deserve._

The worst thing about the night was the silence. The absolute absence of sound made his demons stronger, harder to pacify. He curled up a little, bringing his knees closer to his chest, not noticing just how tense his whole body was. He didn't know anymore where the dream ends and reality begins. It didn’t matter whether he was wide awake or asleep still, either way he’d always be the next best choice, ending up all alone.

_Worthless._

Dreading being swallowed by the night and at the same time wishing for it, hoping it would stop the voices, end the pain in his chest. The drummer clinged to his blanket, shocked to the core by his own thoughts. “No, stop…” he whispered into the night, barely audible. His eyes tingled and the vision became blurry. He shut them tight, trying to concentrate on breathing as the gushing of own mind was drowning him. Nothing to hold on to, no one to break him away from the prison that his soul has become. “…please.”

The drummer was not sure exactly how long did he lay like this, desperately trying to keep his head above the waters, when a little shuffle by his side startled him. Completely immersed in his darker place, he forgot that he wasn’t in fact the only one occupying the bed tonight. The blonde felt choked; he made so much ruckus, moved so much, he must’ve been such a bother.

_Nothing will stop him from leaving, why’d he be any different?_

“Haru?” He mouthed into the darkness, but no sound came out.

He was heard nonetheless.

A light caress came upon his tense shoulders, startling him. He felt his whole body shudder under the touch, as if trying to stay locked. Though his fears and helplessness lingered still, his boyfriend’s hand wasn’t about to go down without a fight.

The fingers ran down his arm looking for a place to call home, eventually finding it on his waist, lovingly framing his whole essence before he could slip away. His lover’s fingers were warm and the touch ever gentle, a kind caress whispering “Come back” at him, without need for words. Finally, he felt his muscles begin to slowly relax under this grounding touch.

Next a bare chest pressed into his back, putting yet another crack in the walls he was cultivating. He felt the soft lips on his nape marking the shape of his name as it was soundlessly uttered. The brunette proceeded to enclose around his boyfriend’s curves, extending a limb just to land on his chest, slightly nuzzling against the short hair of his as he went. It was hard for Akihiko to believe that Haruki was really asleep, but nonetheless he let his guard down.

_Maybe it will be okay._

Heavy, steady breaths against the back of his neck signaled the drummer that he’s the only conscious one, further calming him. He let it sink in and suddenly breathing ceased to feel like a chore. The initial feeling of uneasiness began to fade, and his chest felt lighter as he was inhaling together with his lover in a perfect harmony. Akihiko felt his lover’s leg finding its way to wrap around his own, lightly rubbing against it. What was that thing he was feeling before?

_This was his peace; he was his cornerstone._

Pulling himself even closer, the brunette’s arm wrapped around him in a non-negotiable hold. The air felt hotter and the hug a little more restricting. He wasn’t allowed much motion range and as he tried to get a little loose from the embrace, he was immediately pulled back by those sturdy arms that were almost screaming “Mine!” and as confining as it was, it did not feel unpleasant.

_What was is about him leaving?_

Even though it was the last thing he wished for, stopping him from leaving would be silly, the drummer contemplated. Above all he wished is for happiness for this precious boy who chose to take his hand and walk by his side. There were far more terrible scenarios, like Haruki staying with him out of pity, or their love turning into a mundane chore. All he could do was to ensure he did his best to make Haruki want to stick around. It was his mission, his purpose.

Akihiko’s hand caught the fingers of his boyfriend’s, leaning in to plant a soft kiss, the lips barely brushing in fear he’d disturb the peaceful sleep of his. He shifted back a little, falling deeper into the warm embrace that was making his demons vanish as if they were nothing.

_He wasn’t like anyone else._

Not like anybody he’s ever met. His touch more tender, his words more honest. For better and for worse, he felt most like himself around him. Maybe he didn’t need to be afraid of his true nature anymore, not with his Haru by his side, guiding him. The suffocating feeling of a weight on his chest was gone, he felt nothing but secure, ready to strip his soul naked, to let him in.

He trusted him with everything he was.

Even in the darkest, most quiet of nights, he could feel Haruki’s breaths next to his own and be sure that dawn would inevitably come. He was not alone anymore. If that beautiful man chose his side, there sure was something to him he couldn’t see yet. He longed for the day he’d be able to see it though, and the thought alone put his mind at ease.

A little ray of sunshine made him squint a little. First morning light was creeping through the heavy curtains, covering the couple in a bright light. Softly smiling, he peacefully closed his eyes. Letting himself be covered and protected for a change certainly held a special charm to it. He was quite sure he’d insist on being the little spoon far more often from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what happened, my prompt was "Aki likes being the little spoon" and it was supposed to be soft & fluffy. I think I need to try this again when it's not the beginning of my 13th consecutive semester. :X  
> And that's after I changed it to Hurt/Comfort instead of the initial Hurt/Hurt that it was.  
> I swear I'm okay. 🙃 I will probably stick to comedy from now on xD
> 
> Like always, comments & kudos are much appreciated so please feel free to share your thoughts with me 😬
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/TehAlex3)!


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